Fish Bones

Yes, this is another post about being Asian.

If there was a spectrum of relatedness between literature and my life, "Fish Cheeks" by Amy Tan would have literally broken the scale. I've lost count of how many times I "[pulled] black veins out of the backs of fleshy prawns" or watched "dried fungus [soak] back to life" (Tan 95). For those of you who don't know, that is basically extracting the intestine out of raw shrimp and seeing edible, floating black blobs unfold in water. Which actually tastes amazing and is good for your hair, thank you very much.

Perhaps the most relatable theme of this narrative is the feeling of shame for one's cultural identity. However, this shame is not realized until a white figure comes into play. I remember inviting a white friend over for dinner in 5th grade. While I do not recall a single thing about what we did or what we talked about, I will never forget the wave of embarrassment I felt when my family casually spit fish bones onto the table and when my mother so foolishly offered us ice cream served in Chinese rice bowls. In the newly launched TV show "Fresh Off the Boat", which tracks the lives of a Chinese-American family, Eddie (the cute and cuddly son) matter-of-factly pulls out his container of Chinese noodles for lunch - only to be banished to another table because the noodles resemble "worms". After school that day, in the same way I once did, Eddie declares to his mother: "I need white people food!"

In this way, Tan, Eddie, and I share a sense of humiliation for our Chinese culture. However, it is not until the presence of a white influence that this humiliation truly hits. After all, in the safety of our own homes, the dishes that we regard so contemptuously are actually "all [our] favorite foods" (95).