Aw Gaaaaleeeee

I don't know what all this fuss is about. I ain't but ten years old, but I got me some sense enough to tell when somethin's gone wrong. That's why I asked my Mama if that check coming the other morning. But my Mama she just tells me "you get your mind off money and eat your breakfast" (28).

I ain't got no idea why Mama says don't worry 'bout no money. She sends me to the other room to do my homework sometimes, and they thinking I'm focusing real hard, but I can hear Mama and Daddy fussing with Grandmama about that check. They worrying 'bout money all the time. I can't hear what they saying, but sometimes my Daddy's voice come up real loud and I can tell he's worried - real worried, ever since Grandmama told me about the new house she done got me for when I'm all grown.  Now I know my Daddy wouldn't never do nothing bad for me or Mama or aunt Beneatha and I wanna grow up to be just like him. And even though Mama can be a real pain making me get outta bed so early and such, I know I always be her "little old angry man" (30). But when they get on yelling like that I can't help feeling scared some. I thought when that check comes my Daddy will be acting fine again. Seems like things always fine when people are rich.

Well, turns out I was worrying for nothing. Today I saw a strange white man sitting in our little apartment. He was a nice looking white man, but something about him made me feel done uneasy. Good thing my Daddy was there right with me. My daddy he told that white man something special. He told him that we a family of proud, proud people. He told that white man that aunt Beneatha gone' be a doctor and we gone' be good neighbors and that I make "the sixth generation of our family in this country" (148). I ain't never felt so proud before as I was standing there next to my daddy in front of that white man. After my daddy done talking, that white man he scurried out of our apartment like a scared little mouse. Gaalee! Now we moving to our new house out in Clybourne - and it'll be all mine someday. I ain't ever figured out what all the fuss was about, but I knew my daddy wouldn't never let me down. Hot dog!

My photoshop skills

The DIEmond as big as the ritz

Once upon a time, a 20th century Moses lived luxuriously on a mountain in complete isolation from society (save for his immediate family and a multitude of innocent prisoners and slaves.) Of course, this isn't just any mountain in the middle of nowhere; it's a mountain in the middle of nowhere composed of one solid diamond. Wait what?

"The Diamond as Big as the Ritz" is just one of Fitzgerald's short stories depicting the intricacies and dangers of wealth. In this highly imaginative tale, the members of the Washington family live a magical and seemingly flawless lives: they dwell in a "floating fairy-land...beyond human wish or dream", enjoy massive gardens and aquariums within their homes, and even roll out of bed (literally) each morning into warm warm bubble baths with "moving-picture" service. To say that pink elephants sent from heaven regularly roam their valleys would scarcely be a stretch.

However, beneath this utopialistic (that's not a word, is it) lifestyle lies a tradition of corruption and melancholy. In order to ensure that all of this wealth is kept solely to themselves, the Washingtons have "corrupted a whole department of the State survey" and even "had a river deflected" just to keep the diamond a secret. Braddock Washington even hides the abolition of slavery from his band of Negroes and locks up everyone who happens to come across the mountain in a dark and crowded pit. Realizing that being the only inhabitants of the middle of nowhere can be quite lonely, the Washingtons occasionally invite guests to their kingdom of diamonds to make their lives a little bit less emotionally lacking. But wait! Wouldn't these guests find out about the diamond and try to exploit the family's wealth after they leave? No problem - have fun with them today, and kill them tomorrow (a surefire way to ensure happiness, wise Washingtons.) The family is so inexperienced with true human emotion that when the youngest daughter, Kismine, hears her own name from John, she cannot help but inquire, "Did you say 'Kismine'? Or...[kiss me?]" One cannot blame her for her foolish rhetoric, however. What can we expect from someone who grew up with people who eternally trap themselves in social isolation?
Moral of the story: being wealthy is pretty depressing. Sometimes, it's better be a peasant with friends who aren't dead.