Peace.Love.What?!

Fact #1: I am a socially awkward Chinese girl with strict parents who eats rice every day and overachieves in school.

Fact #2: I can just feel the stereotypes running through your head right now.

Over the years, I've grown accustomed to constantly hearing the lines "can I copy your homework?", "why can't you go to parties?" and "why do you think a $10 shirt is expensive?" The answer is almost always the same: Because I'm Asian. How silly of you to ask!

It's no secret that racial stereotypes exist in society. You don't need to be Sherman Alexie or Brent Staples to know that. But this is not a typical upset-kid-blames-society-for-being-racist post. Not at all. Today, my sole purpose is to blame myself.

If you knew me or knew of me at the tender age of twelve, you might be familiar with a certain Facebook page that I usually avoid speaking of at all costs. It's called Peace.Love.Asian (go ahead, start laughing, but I'll have you know that page got 164 likes). And yes, this page is pretty much exactly what it sounds like - a brainless 6th grader glued to a computer screen in attempt to make friends on the Internet. Somehow, the 12-year-old me believed that creating this page would finally give Asians a free pass to popularity. Little did I know, however, that posting dozens of rice bowl photos captioned with overflowing exclamation points would only reinforce and promote the stereotypes already surrounding Asians in society. 

(Literally.)

Looking back four years later, I realize that my actions on this page have probably negatively portrayed Asians instead of helping me rise on the social hierarchy. I mean, who would want to interact with a race that publicly obsesses over its "only" food and boasts shamelessly about its skin color?

No joke, at some point I actually posted this picture.

Now, embarrassment and loathing for my 6th grade self aside, my point is this: Maybe racial stereotypes aren't always the result of the ignorance of others. In this day and age, maybe the real perpetrators of racism are none other but ourselves. 

Or maybe it's just me.

Fact #3: If Peace.Love.Asian posts mysteriously begin to pop up in my News Feed after the publication of this blog post...I will find you, and will I kill you.

Maybe.